Friday, August 28, 2009

One night in New York - revisited

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A recent meeting with former Irish National Baseball team coach John Houston jolted this memory. Over an ice cold brew, coach was telling me about a chance meeting he had with Rangers soccer team legend Ally McCoist (Golden Bollocks himself - we are not just being crude, that's his actual nickname) - and we got to talking about the passion that Rangers/Celtic and all other Soccer supporters have. Going over the various enormous, passionate and often violent rivalries in Soccer we brushed up against comparisons with US sports, and for example, the much publicized Boston v New York rivalry. This brought to mind, for me, one night in New York.

Being on the Irish Baseball Team opened up a whole new would of sports to me. Without it there is so much I would not have experienced. It trickled into my personal life and was always there as a frame around ten years of my life. Baseball is a wonderful game once you get to know it. I can appreciate how some people maybe find it a little slow, a little ponderous. To me, however, it is a regal sport full of drama and history.

I have been so lucky to have had many great baseball related experiences. One of those was in 1999 during a summer working in Boston. The night I saw the great Pedro Martinez live in Yankee Stadium.

Traveling on occasion to the UK as a Sunderland (A British soccer team) supporter I have witnessed some ‘rough stuff’ in my time. I have been to games in opponents stadiums where well meaning stewards have told me 'Zip up that jacket unless you want to get killed', after spotting my Sunderland jersey. Once, in Manchester, I saw a Sunderland fan being beaten up by a large crowd of so called supporters, with two overwhelmed police officers trying bravely to break the brawl up.

However, nothing could have prepared my for the vitriol, hate and anti Irish rhetoric I faced the night of September the 10th 1999 in Yankees stadium. I had been working in Boston for the summer, and like the rest of the City (and the entire New England region), was completely caught up in the Red Sox. From the All Star Game to the amazing playoff series against Cleveland, it was an incredible season. It all formed a shining backdrop for the beyond-superlative season Pedro Martinez turned in. The Dominican Dandy was simply God like. Every five days he chose to come down from whatever super-planet he lived on and granted us mortals an audience with a pitching deity.

Before going back to Ireland I wanted one last weekend of the Sox, I wanted to catch Pedro live just one more time for '99, and treated myself to a trip to New York. It was all well and good watching games in the bars around Boston, the Purple Shamrock, Kitty O'Sheas and others but I thought it would be kind of cool to see the Sox play live in Yankee stadium. I managed to work it so that the game I would actually go to would be the one Pedro pitched in.

Take a step back in time and lose yourself in the Pedro years on this page dedicated to his best games.

I traveled on my own as the few friends I had in Boston at the time were busy or away that weekend. As I traveled I felt like I was embarking on a personal Mecca of some kind. I checked into my Manhattan hotel and changed for the night. It was chilly enough so I chose the Red Sox warmup jacket and put on a Irish National Team baseball cap.

The moment I stepped into the lobby of the hotel to begin finding a way to Yankee stadium I started to regret my clothing decision. The doorman took one look at me and actually slammed the door in my face. The walk up to the stadium from the train was even more harrowing. Someone actually threw a hot dog at me.

I found my seat and looked around nervously. I saw a couple of Red Sox hats, one or two jerseys, but really, there must have been as little as 1% of the crowd rooting for the Sox, in a crowd of close to 55,000.

The Sox went a little too easily in the first and the Yankees fans roared their approval. I watched the Sox dugout as Pedro bounced out along with the rest of the team to take the field, and something amazing happened. On the other side of the stadium, in the bleachers, hundreds of fans started to cheer and wave Dominican flags. It was completely uplifting, they cheered his warm up pitches one at a time, the atmosphere in the stadium became entirely electric, it felt like a vital playoff game.

Come the second inning and the Yankees struck. Chili Davies hit a solo shot, putting them on the board, and driving the home crowd wild. I felt someone slap the back of my head, I turned to see an enormous, angry looking, purple faced Yankee fan in a Bronx Bombers jacket practically spitting at me; 'Irish Baseball? What the f**k is that? Get out of here a$$h*l*! Go eat a potato Mick!'.

I couldn't even think of a good comeback, but an unusual ally came to my aid. Out of nowhere a guy the image of Mike Tyson, but with the size of William 'the Fridge' Perry ambled over and sat down beside me. He was wearing a XXXL Red Sox jersey over what must have been a XXXXL hoody with 'Valentin' and '13' on the back.

The clown behind me said something about me again and this time my new buddy turned around and said 'Watch your mouth or ill wash it out with soap for you.' I just nodded at him and returned to watching the game, feeling slightly less intimidated now that I had my own 350lb body guard.

The carnival atmosphere intensified. With the Yankees winning the Sox were in trouble. And that's where Pedro broke out perhaps the best game of his career. In the middle of the team's longest road trip against their strongest competitors, he faced down the Yankees and threw a complete game one-hitter, facing only one batter over the minimum. Pedro struck out the side in the 5th, 7th, and 9th innings, for a total of 17 in the game. He fanned every Yankee who came to bat at least once.

Punchadó

Pedro was such a ferocious competitor, he was like a boxer, who was angered by his opponent (Chili Davies) landing a punch, and who went on to absolutely annihilate him. With Pedro dealing his 97 mph fastball, his wicked curve and that delicious changeup, the powerful all-world Yankees lineup was reduced to one fair ball after the fourth inning. Have a think about that. They hit one ball into play from the fourth inning on.

Every time he fired in one of his pitches I felt my emotions get pushed higher and higher. The Dominican fans in the bleachers were going absolutely insane. My new buddy beside me was pretty quiet, completely focused on the game, but after every strike out he just mumbled, 'K, another K'.

The Sox offence struck for two in the sixth and one in the ninth, and that was all Pedro needed. He finished his magnificent performance by striking out the side in the 9th inning, and the Dominican fans in the bleachers went absolutely insane. I didn't even notice that my body guard was gone, so, faced with overwhelming odds I settled for a little personal fist pump almost hidden by the seat in front of me.

I practically floated out of Yankee stadium, everything from there is just a blur. The bright stadium lights, several Red Sox fans celebrating in front of the stadium.

Like Ron Bergundy, ''I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. If you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back.'' I want to come right out and say that was the single greatest pitching performance I have ever seen. Pedro, that night, was the greatest.

As I left the stadium I heard Frank singing '...start spreading the news..' over the PA system. I couldn't get that song out of my head for days, and when I hear it now I remember nothing but that chilly night in New York watching Pedro carry the Red Sox on his back deep in the heart of Yankee land.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Mailbag: Which is tougher? Rugby or American Football?

Interesting comment left by a reader on a previous post on which is tougher, Rugby or American Football


The comment, from 'Logo' read as such;
Schools rugby and Pro rugby are two totally different animals. As are American Football and Rugby. Its like comparing Horse Racing to Monster Truck Racing. Same basic concept (a race) but executed in two totally different ways, with two totally different sets of rules. American Football is more violent as the players wear superior protection.The more this improves the more violent the game will become. Rugby does not allow for that level of protection so until we see American Football without all the padding, its an impossible comparison. Always an interesting debate though :)


The thing is, I was never comparing schools rugby and pro rugby, I was more comparing schools rugby to the Irish American football league, two things I had first hand experience with. To debate further, I would argue that the reason football players wear that protection is because of the violence, not the other way around!

The reason Football is more violent than Rugby is simply angles. You can be hit at any angle in football, whereas in Rugby it is largely straight up tackling. You can tackle in any form either in Football, in Rugby it is illegal to tackle without 'wrapping' your arms around the opponent.

To finish, if you played American Football without padding, people would be killed.

Simple as that.


You are right though, always worth a debate.



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Irish Baseball League update: Hurricanes 10 Mariners 2

Irish Baseball League game report
Hurricanes 10 Mariners 2
Saturday 22nd August 2009

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On Saturday the Dublin Hurricanes travelled to the Greystones Mariners new field in Greystones to play their second last league game of the 2009 season. The Mariners new field, at a new sporting complex just outside Greystones village, is a sight to behold. Up high on a hill overlooking the sea, it is in an idyllic setting. The Mariners are still working on the field but it is a great start, and should serve them well for years to come.

The Mariners themselves are in good shape too, having added some extra bats to their young lineup. The Greystones two, three, four and five spots in their lineup are as good as any in the league, very tricky to work around. Garrett Donnelly is as powerful a bat as ever and narrowly missed knocking a ball out of the park in the first inning.

The 'Canes knew a win would wrap up the '09 Irish League pennant, and with that in mind came out of the blocks early. Working patient at bats the 'Canes score early and often, there were some big knocks off the bats of Mike Johnson and Andy Martin, with the 'Canes building a big lead early.

As has been the case all season long, the real story of the day was the 'Canes superior defensive work. Jeremias at third, Andy at short and Chris at first all had great days in the field. The play of the day was made by Andy Martin. A Mariner hit a roller to short that took a wicked hop up towards Andy's right shoulder, away from his glove. Andy hopped, grabbed the ball with his bare hand as it tried to loop past him, and fired a strike to first for the out. There isn't one single player in Irish baseball that would have made that play any sweeter than the 'Canes veteran infielder did.

The 'Canes held their serve and nerve and ran out 10-2 winners on the day.

With one game to play the Hurricanes stand tall on top of the 2009 Irish Baseball League, having amassed a grand total of 51 points so far, losing only three games to date. They can now not be caught by anyone else, and are destined to finish top of the table for the fifth time in their history. The playoffs start soon. Round one will see the Hurricanes play the second place team, right now that could be any one of Greystones, the Blacksox or even maybe the fourth place Spartans.

The winner or that game goes straight to the best of three Irish 2009 Baseball Championships. The loser plays the winner of the 3rd/4th place game for the right to make the Championships.

You can check out the results to date, league standings and such at this location.

Previous games from 2009 Irish baseball
season

Links to note:


If you would like to get involved with Baseball Ireland at any level, Adult or Youth, or would like to support the game in Ireland, please refer to this link

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Monday, August 24, 2009

He's got a gun!! He's got a gun!!

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Imagine that, a black athlete in trouble for confronting a white police officer who 'thought he saw a gun'. How old is that particular story getting? The Ravens rookie Tony Fein made the mistake of trying to hand a cell phone to a friend in a restaurant, and guess what happened next..

''Fein was eating dinner at Johnny Rockets in the Inner Harbor when a security officer thought he saw him pass a handgun to one of his friends, said police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi. It turned out to be a cell phone.''



How does a cell phone look like a gun, to a supposed professional? What a joke. Maybe one of those brick like 80's cell phone abominations, but to say a modern cell phone looks like a gun is simply retarded. Straight up no-foolin, old fashioned retarded. This Police Officer obviously has never seen the brilliant and timely Robert Downey monologue in 'Tropic Thunder' regarding going 'Full retard'.

If Fein gets in trouble for pushing a police officer, should the police officer not get in trouble for not being able to tell the difference between a cell phone and a hand gun? I would have thought the ability to discern between both might be an important aspect of said officers professional life? No?

How pathetic does this sound;

When police questioned Fein, 27, he became belligerent and shoved the officer, Guglielmi said. Sgt. Joseph Donato was knocked to the ground and had an injured elbow, a police report said.


Frankly, most free-thinking men would be furious if confronted as having a gun when all they were doing was trying to pass a cell phone to a friend. An injured elbow? Pathetic. This doesn't smell of racism, this absolutely reeks of racism, and Fein is clearly being punished for little more than getting annoyed by racial prejudice.

That this happened in Baltimore, home of 'The Wire' is not a massive shock, if David Simon's brilliant series is anything to go by, police incompetence and racism is nothing to be surprised about.

Sad, sorry state of affairs.

You wonder how this episode would have gone down had 'Smooth' Lester Freamon been on the case?


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Friday, August 21, 2009

The DCU Saints - Irish American Football in '09 - random thoughts in terms of closure for '09

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Yes, there is fully padded football in Ireland. Much the same as telling someone from the States there is baseball in Ireland, you get a kind of a surprised, shocked response when you tell them there is also American Football on the Emerald Isle.

Action from DCU v The Rhinos earlier this year

My team, the DCU Saints, managed to make the semi finals this season. Personally my season ended after the second last regular season game in Cork, a serious mauling, through a combination of injury and civilian disasters. For some reason, who knows why, the season only ended in my head today. Probably because I found myself going over everything in my head in bed last night. I am a poet and I didn’t even know it. Anyway, some muddled, jumbled thoughts on the 2009 IAFL season that was.

First of all, DCU are in superb shape to be a serious team to reckon with for the next several years. A large proportion of the teams in the IAFL (Irish American Football League) are populated with grizzled 10-15 year veterans of the league. DCU have no such issue, and instead are largely built with college students grouped in the 20-25 year old range. The team is only four years old and has already qualified for the playoffs two years running, a growth chart way ahead of several of the veteran teams in the league. The best is yet to come though, with a dedicated and knowledgeable head coach and some serious athleticism, speed and talent on both sides of the ball.

DCU Running Back Dave 'Chickflick' McMahon - doin' work

The League itself is in good shape, run by people who are obsessed with the sport, something probably vital in running a league in a minority sports environment. Make no mistake, Football is a minority sport in Ireland, and yet the organisation is admirable. For every game there is an ambulance for safety and a full refereeing crew and chain gang. By way of comparison, the Irish Baseball League is currently struggling to get two umpires out for games. Sadly, from baseball’s point of view, the IAFL is absolutely streets ahead in terms of organisational effort. Baseball Ireland could learn a lot from studying the IAFL, most of all from trying to match the enthusiasm of the IAFL committee and regular members/players. That’s not a knock at baseball in Ireland, or the people trying to run it, it’s more of a call to arms, the people currently running baseball need help and more of a commitment from those who just turn up once a week to play. However, we have been saying that for years, and nothing changes.

Moving on in subject, what makes the commitment to football shown by those who play it in Ireland all the more amazing is the sheer violence of the sport. Having played Rugby in school, to a reasonably high level (Leinster trials) and having played two years of football, there is simply no comparison to how rough the two sports are. Football is vastly more violent and injury heavy. It is night and day, so next time a drunken Rugby player says to you that ‘football is Rugby for wimps’, tell them to shut up and try football. One training session and they will be drunkenly slurring out of the other side of their mouths.

The hitting is intense. It’s liberating but intense. Liberating? Yes, I went there. If you manage to get into the speed of a well played, tough game, there is a somewhat liberating feeling of physical satisfaction afterwards. Perhaps it’s a confirmation that you can do something hard, something challenging and physical.

There is definitely an element of Fight Club to it. The good players let everything go on the field and throw themselves into the line without any sort of trepidation.

One thing that pops up every now and then in baseball and football in Ireland is the ‘small pond big fish’ syndrome, something prevalent in minority sports all over the globe. There is a hilarious unintentional comedy element to it in football on these shores. The way some of the players carry themselves you would think they were big shots on a serious D1 team in the States, not scrub Sunday warriors on muddy fields in Ireland.

One particular clown, let’s call him ‘Douche Bag McGee’, playing for the Dublin Rebels, is well known through out the league for his enormous mouth and tiny brain. I first came across his act playing flag football close to three years ago. He was coaching the Rebels flag team and spent an entire game mouthing off, trash talking. Yes, trash talking during a flag football game, in Ireland. I know, seriously. So, during the game Douche Bag McGee was verbally riding the Dublin Sharks diminutive receiver Eric ‘Vegas’ Valkys hard (frequent readers of Boston Irish will note ‘Vegas’ is a veteran star for the Dublin Hurricanes in the Irish Baseball League also, the Deoin Sanders of Irish minority sports). With two minutes to go and the Sharks pinned in their own ten and facing fourth and long ‘Vegas’ lined up wide out right beside the Rebels sideline. Douche Bag McGee chose that moment to bawl ‘Let’s see what you got in your pocket little man!’ at ‘Vegas’. Eric ran a deep, deep post and caught a close-your-eyes-and-chuck-it Hail Mary, rolled over once, held on to the rock to score, ran down the sidelines and spiked the ball in front of Douche Bag McGee shouting, ‘THAT’S what I got in my pocket!’.

Fabulous stuff. Of course, no further comment from Douche Bag McGee after that. The Big fish in the little ponds don’t like to be challenged. They retreat into their shells. Further evidence of this came in the semi final between the DCU Saints and the Rebels. Near the end of the game, with the experience, veteran Rebels team winning a blow-out, Douche Bag McGee ran for a short gain. He jumped up and shouted at Saints players ‘You should be f-ing ashamed of yourselves!!’

Nobody is really sure why the Saints, a team in their fourth year, playing in their second consecutive playoffs, should be ashamed of themselves, however, that’s what he said.

One of the Saints players took umbrage, stood up to him and shoved Douche Bag McGee in the chest. How did the Big Fish respond? He folded like deck chair, backed off quickly, basically running away, and even apologised. Later on however, in the traditional hand shake at the end of the game, he pulled that seven year old trick of pretending to shake hands only to withdraw at the last second and swipe your hand through your hair. Class act to the end.

You get them everywhere of course, in all sports, at the end of the day they are there to be ridiculed.

And so we beat on, boats against the tide, the Saints will start rookie camp in October with the veterans coming back fresh as daises a few weeks later for another season of hits, bombs, shotguns and crack back blocks. Rihanna and TI were right, you have to live your life. Get some dirt on your knees, son.






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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Cy bung

Notice the four most talked about leading candidates for the '09 AL Cy Young pitching award all had rough nights the last couple of evenings? Josh Backett was lucky to get a no-decision, the White Sox beat up Greinke and the Red Sox slapped Roy Halladay around, in a week where the Boston Sporting media were approaching the Sox/Jays tilt as an absolute no win game for the Red Stockings.


Finally, one of our favourites here at Boston Irish, 'King' Felix Hernandez, was bullied around by El Tígres, losing his start to them Tuesday night. Believe it or not, Seattle are actually the next closest team in the Wild Card in the AL after Boston, Texas and Tampa.

''No es Bueno!''

Texas lost last night, meaning there is a shred of separation in the Wild Card standings now, between Boston and the upstarts from the Lone Star State. Bear in mind though, Tampa are hovering just three games out and starting to look like a decent ball team once again in time for a late stretch run. Isn't it funny how often a team makes a late run that carries them deep into the post season. Colorado in '07, the Cards in '04 and maybe Tampa in '09.



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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ocho Cinco's new TD celebration...

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The sometimes inane always entertaining Chad 'Ocho Cinco' Johnson has unveiled his new TD dance for the sparkling new NFL season. It has a little something to do with the new Vikings QB, we think.

Taken from Ocho's 'Twitter' page, so you know it's good.


By the by, you ready for some football? Erin Andrews appears to be.




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Little Billy Simmons goes to Mexico

The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, went to Mexico last week for the crunch World Cup '10 qualifier between the Mexican hosts and the USA. His article on the game is up on ESPN now and is a very interesting read from many angles.

First and foremost, this piece shows that mainstream US sports journalism is warming ever so slowly to Soccer. Sports Guy dabbled a bit in the English Premiership the last few seasons, including once selecting Tottenham as 'his team', however this is his first serious attempt at critiquing both a soccer game and a team, in this case the USA.

Sports Guy was clearly stunned by the vociferous Mexican crowd, that comes out clearly in the article. Perhaps if more US sports fans are exposed to passionate European soccer fans (think Barcelona, Liverpool, Celtic) the Champions League will take off Stateside.

His take on the state of the US team is really interesting, if a little naive, and I say that in a good way. His new found enthusiasm for Soccer is both admirable and flawed, the latter simply coming from not having logged the hundreds of thousands of hours watching top class Soccer that those of us on the right hand side of the Atlantic generally have.

By way of example, Sports Guy seems to have been blinded a little by the flashy but very raw striker Jozy Altidore. Jozy is going to play in the EPL in '09, he is on loan to Hull City from Villareal. Put it this way, his own club deem him dispensable, for now, until he becomes a more experienced and consistent player. Definitely one for the future, but right now, basically an on-form but inexperienced rookie. Think Matt Ryan of the Falcons.

he got game

His homage to Stevie Gerard is delightfully innocent and yet spot on really;

''For instance, I watched Sunday's Liverpool-Tottenham battle, and Steven Gerrard was so ridiculously, dominantly good in so many different ways -- some overt, some subtle -- that I couldn't get over it. He makes difficult plays seem effortless; you never forget he's on the field. America doesn't have anyone like that.''



The piece is an honest look from a fresh angle and deserves a read. As usual for the Sports Guy, it's pretty funny also, in an irreverent humour kind of way. Sure beats 92% or most of the current wave of 'sports reporting' going on out there, four paragraph 'bites' of snappy, soulless and vacuous writing.

Well worth a gander.

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Manchester City fan immediately regrets his decision

You can't make this stuff up.

A Manchester City fan decided this summer to show his excitement with the brilliant Kaka's potential transfer to City by getting a tattoo of the great player on his chest. Of course, as we know now, Kaka never moved. He will not be playing for Man City now or any time in the future, most likely.

In further news, this guy is a complete idiot. I mean, we have all got dubious tattoos in the past, am I right? However, this one really takes the biscuit.


The magnificently self righteous Kaka: Loves both Jesus and (apparently) hot women


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The Mets dream '09 season continues!


So, the Mets have issues. David Wright’s unfortunate beaning and subsequent injury have brought dramatic search light like illumination and focus on to these issues. People are now asking, ‘What can go wrong next for the New York Mets?’

Asking what can go wrong next for the Mets is kind of like watching a 27 car pile up on a motorway in silence, but freaking out like a crazy person when car number 28 adds to the wreckage, screaming ‘My word, what can go wrong next?!’

What else can go wrong? Really? You mean apart from a GM that thinks it’s clever to have two all star closers on the roster at $10 million each? Or a GM that thinks that it’s super clever to go out and grab himself a $7 million dollar setup man who gets beaten harder than a Celtic fan at Ibrox?

The Mets are a complete and utter mess, and it is amazing that it takes a serious injury to one of their few bright spots, David Wright, for people to ask, ‘goodness, what could go wrong next for the Mets?’

The club is put together like a shambolic fantasy baseball team, one that is run by a learning disabled chimp. There is no farm system to speak of (dealing away Kazmir is one of the dumbest moves made in the last 30 years of baseball transactions), the lineup is wafer thing with zero depth, and the pitching, lets just say they aren’t exactly cutting through opposition lineups like a knife through butter. Quite the opposite in fact.

They are a $200 million dollar joke. The second highest payroll in baseball and yet zero positive results. Only the New York Mercenary Yankees have a higher payroll than the pathetic Mets. Think about that. 30 other MLB teams have lower payrolls than the Mets, and pretty much most of those are getting better value out of same.

Here’s hoping Wright recovers, and recovers fast. He is a great player and a class act to boot. However, even a miraculous recovery by Wright should not be seen as anything but a tiny step in the right direction for what has become one of the worst run franchises in Major League history.





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Friday, August 14, 2009

S.A.M.M - The Boston Red Sox/'The Hangover' 'Sox in crisis' review; Part Two!

S.A.M.M - The Boston Red Sox/'The Hangover' 'Sox in crisis' review
Part Two - The Pitching staff
(Part one here)

The continuation of Boston Irish's 'panic stations' review of the Sox, in a Fox New 'Crisis in Red Sox Nation' style! It's always good to freak out a little and panic about things, right? Keeps an even keel. The cute little Screaming Homer symbols by each players name indicate just how worried the good citizens of Red Sox Nation should be worried about that player. Out of five. So, for example, we are really, really worried about Dice-K (we attributed four Screaming Homer symbols to him below). Enough with the wibbling and the warbling. On to the piece.

Previous S.A.M.M articles
Old School
Out of Sight
Stranger than fiction

The Pitchers

Alan Garner: Oh, you know what? Next week's no good for me... The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.
Daniel Bard
Just the one Screaming Homer panic symbol here, and that only because seeing as Bard is a rookie, you just never know. Bard is suddenly a key part of the Red Sox pen. That this has happened in the last part of the season is exciting, worrying and engaging, all at the same time. Bard is now the most interesting of the Sox young guns, narrowly supplanting Jacoby, who seems like a veteran at this stage.

''I think he's kind of a sweetheart''

Stu: "Everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he's kind of a sweetheart."
Alan: "I think he's mean."
Jon Lester - Once Johnny L finishes working on his mean streak, he is going to be a hellacious pitcher. If you think how relatively little short on MLB experience he is, and measure that up against his superb results to date, the sky is really the limit for this young man. He just needs to work on that mean streak, and pound the zone. By the by, how incredibly smooth was Mike Tyson's showing in The Hangover? How good a sign of an individual is it that they are willing to poke fun at themselves to that extent? Assuming Tyson was actually poking fun at himself, and that wasn't his real entourage. And Tiger. Sneaky funny moment in the movie, Alan actually riding the Tiger in CCTV footage from Tyson's mansion.

Old Man: This is one sweet ride.
[commenting on the Mercedes as Alan is pumping the gas
Alan Garner: Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Don't look at me.
Alan Garner: [old man walks away] That's right. You better walk on. I'll hit an old man in public!
Josh Beckett - If an old man riled Beckett up in public, he would probably hit him. The Sox ace is rounding into form nicely, pitching some dominating innings as we crawl towards the business end of the season. Zero Screaming Homer panic symbols required.

Alan Garner: Hey what's that on your arm?
Stu Price: Oh my God - Phil, you were in the hospital last night.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I guess I was.
Alan Garner: Are you okay?
Daisuke Matsuzaka
A solid four out of five Screaming Homer panic symbols for this young chap. The story of Dice-K's 2009 season to date? In 35 innings the lad has allowed an overwhelming 78 base runners. Should we be extra worried that little or no information appears to be forthcoming on his attempts to make it back to the bigs? Could almost have gone five Screaming Homer panic symbols here.

Phil Wenneck: You're not really wearing that are you?
Alan Garner: Wearing what?
Phil Wenneck: The man purse. You actually gunna wear that or are you just fuck'n with me?
Alan Garner: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil Wenneck: So does Joy Behar.
Brad Penny -
You're not really wearing that are you?

The New York Mets, The New York Yankees, The Atlanta Braves, any of the dredges of the AL or the NL, just a few of the teams that would absolutely love to have Brad Penny as their fifth starter. This has been a success story all the way round. Now, if Penny could go a little deeper into games, it could become a roaring success of a move.

The infamous Wolfpack speech

Alan Garner: You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!
Ramon Ramirez
Does anyone know anything about this one man Wolf Pack? Still and all, every time he pitches he seems to strike somebody out on something nasty down in the zone. Could be a particularly sneaky, sexy, secret weapon in the playoffs, if the Sox make it that far.

Alan Garner: Hey guys, when's the next Haley's comet?
Phil Wenneck: Who cares, man.
Alan Garner: Do you know Stu?
Stu Price: I don't think it's for like another sixty years or something.
Alan Garner: But it's not tonight right?
Stu Price: No I don't think so.
Alan Garner: But you don't know for sure? I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Haley's comet.
Tim Wakefield
Wake is about as old as Haley's comet, but is still trucking. The two Screaming Homer panic symbols are present on the basis that Wakefield is older than the hills and could break down physically at any moment. The guy is still getting deep into games and helping the Sox chew up vital innings. His presence make some of Penny's oddly effective yet short five-and-dives infinitely more palatable.

Male Officer to Alan: "Not you, fat Jesus."
Manny Delcarmen
Doesn't it seem that the Sox are kind of saying "Not you, fat Jesus." to Manny Del C in terms of giving him a serious role at the backend of the pen? I know he gets the occasional 7th inning job, and has poked his head out every now and then at the end of games, however with the pure 'stuff' Delcarmen has, isn't it worth pushing him a little, giving him some crazy tough spots and seeing how he performs?


See where 'The Hangover' placed in the Boston Irish top 30 comedies of the last decade piece!

Phil Wenneck: [his answering machine message] Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor - don't text me, it's gay.
Jonathan Papelbon - 72% sure this is actually Papelboners answering machine message, switching Jon for Phil. Note, zero Screaming Homer panic symbols.

Phil Wenneck: Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. Who's this?
Doug Billings: It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
Alan Garner: I met you like four times.
Phil Wenneck: Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?
Takashi Saito
We have met Saito more than four times however doesn't it seem like there is still so much to learn about the lad? Strange, strange and powerful feeling Saito is going to have a big role to play in the late season or playoffs, in either a good or a bad way. Vague yes, but just watch, it's going to happen. Remember that you heard it here first.

Alan Garner: I'm on your side! I hate Godzilla! He destroys cities! I hate Godzilla!
Hideki Okajima - really nothing to worry about here, at all. Okie Dokie is effective against both left and right handed batters, and continues to be a very trust worthy part of Tito's bullpen.


Previous S.A.M.M articles

See where 'The Hangover' placed in the Boston Irish top 30 comedies of the last decade piece!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

S.A.M.M - The Boston Red Sox/'The Hangover' 'Sox in crisis' review!

S.A.M.M - The Boston Red Sox/'The Hangover' 'Sox in crisis' review
Part one - Positional players
(Part two coming soon)

The new Red Sox lineup was causing a stir...

The sooner the admin team at Boston Irish figures out how to blog from their telephonic devices the better! That's all I am going to say about the weekend past.

Moving on swiftly..

In a piece that has become something of a tradition here at Boston Irish, we like mixing movies and sports, to the extent that they mould into a single, curious entity. From now on they will be known as S.A.M.M, or, Sports And Movie Mixes

Today we are going to have a FOX news 'Sox in Crisis!' like, S.A.M.M

Previous S.A.M.M articles
Old School
Out of Sight
Stranger than fiction

Enough already with the chit and the chat. On to the piece in question.


'The Hangover' is a superbly funny, enjoyable, quasi 'road movie' slash comedy. It isn't just the gags, the visual humour or the sparkling script. It isn't Alan, Doug, Stu or Phil, the four main protagonists, or even the crazy Mike Tyson cameo. It is the sum of its parts, a strangely decent movie, not just a comedy, an actual solid, real movie.


See where 'The Hangover' placed in the Boston Irish top 30 comedies of the last decade piece!

Before we dive into the meaty stuff, a word on the soundtrack for the movie. The music in 'The Hangover' compliments the film beautifully. It is perfectly put together, the music really ties the movie together. Oddly enough, they did a horrendous job on the soundtrack. Almost all the best songs in the movie aren't even on the original soundtrack. I don't get it. if you are going to spend 70 million billion trillion dollars on a movie, why not pay the extra few bucks to get the good songs on the soundtrack?

Nevermind, thankfully, there is such a thing as the Internet, which cures all. This blog lists all the songs in the movie and even at what stage they appeared. Sweet. You can actually watch all the videos for the songs at this site. So, don't you worry, Boston Irish got your back.

We will be going with a 'Homer Simpson' panic rating for each player, five being the highest, zero the lowest!





Part one - Positional players

Doug Billings: Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much. Phil Wenneck: Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.
J.D. Drew -
Oh JD, what next? This guy is a human Medical encyclopedia. Thing is, he is also clutch. Yes, that's right. JD Drew knows clutch. Witness the incredible playoff moments. A funny thing has happened with Drew, he finally 'feel' like a Red Sox player. Hey, he is no Trot Nixon, but he is definitely fitting right in, in right. Just the two Homers in terms of panic rating, for now.


Stu: "Am I missing a tooth?"
Mike Lowell -
Is Mike Lowell still wearing his hip? High potential for disaster here, let's face it. Lowell will keep making fine defensive plays and chip in the odd clutch hit, but we are all waiting for his hip to pop again, aren't we?

Alan Garner: Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
David Ortiz
The worst possible thing to happen at the worst possible moment. Having said that, smashing suit at the big press conference. Really top notch. Hard to tell if Big Papi loves pepper or cinnamon but he is certainly an area for concern, or, in Homer's case, panic.



Phil Wenneck: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.
Rocco Baldelli
Is Rocco wearing pants? Does anyone know? What is Rocco doing right now? Is there an over/under for Rocco trips to the DL in '09? One of the great things about 'Hangover' is it stands up to repeated viewings. This line is a great example. The second time you go you notice Alan's retort - 'There wasn't enough time!'

Alan Garner: ...I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I won't ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone.
Jason Bay
Why the four screaming Homers? Bay is currently earning $7.5 million, he is eligible for free agency and might be in line for something in the range of $15 million annually. The Sox have as yet to cough the cash-money up for his services. This is worrying. The negotiations are like a steel trap, no one is speaking a word about them.

Stu Price: They are mature. You just have to get to know them.
Phil Wenneck: [yelling from outside] Paging Doctor Faggot! Doctor Faggot!
Stu Price: I should probably go.
Melissa: That would be a good idea, Dr. Faggot.
Dustin Pedroia - No Screaming Homers for the reigning American League MVP, a rare bright spot in a suddenly troubled squad. Doesn't the above just seem like something this little Dirt Dog would say?

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: Listen, we fucked up. We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in *five hours*.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
Nick Green
Oh Nicky, tricky Nicky, you want to write him off, but he won't let you, witness last nights mammoth blast. Fact of the matter is, he is a superb, high level utility player, however he is not an every day AL East short stop. He tries very hard though, sometimes too hard. Automatic out against superior pitching.

Stu Price: We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?
Alan Garner: I think the cop car part's pretty cool.
Phil Wenneck: Thank you Alan!
Jason Varitek
Hard to tell what the Captain thinks about his new team mate, Victor M, however, surely it's a good thing, giving those old knees a rest, no? Pretty cool, no? Thank you, Victor!



Alan Garner: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong?
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Kevin Youkilis
Zero screaming Homers! Result! Youk continues to mash. He does, however, look like someone who should not be within two hundred yards of a Chuck E. Cheese.

Alan Garner: counting cards isn't illegal, it's just frowned upon.. like masturbating on an airplane
Jacoby Ellsbury
Just one cautionary Screaming Homer, in case of slumps. Jocoby's speed should be illegal, like masturbating on airplanes.



Coming soon
Part Two - Pitchers


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