Monday, March 26, 2007

Shaughnessy's enemy - 2
Dan v Curt Schilling's blog

I never thought a post called ''Shaughnessy's enemy'' would become a multi part, repeated post. How wrong I was. Taking a step back...

There is a great Simpson episode which is called "Homer's Enemy" where a Nuclear Plant employee, Frank Grimes, becomes gradually more insanely obsessed with Homer until he eventually gets eaten up by his hatred for Homer's boorish, comical and whimsical ways.

Frank Grimes, meet Dan Shaughnessy.

Shaughnessy's oddball, Quixote like regular verbal assaults on Curt Schilling are becoming the stuff of legend, however it appears Dan is approaching his own exposed power wires, akin to his twin in anger, Frank Grimes.

In the excellent Simpson's episode Grimes gets so upset at Homer's antics he runs around the nuclear plant screaming;

''Accidents have doubled every year since he became safety inspector. And meltdowns have tripled! Has he been fired? No. Has he been disciplined? No, no!''

Before finally accidentally electrocuting himself on exposed wires.

Now, Shaughnessy actually commits to print a childish, painful attempt at a comedic attack on Curt Schilling's recently unveiled blog. Dan takes great time to 'fake' entries from sycophantic fans and pokes fun at Schilling in numerous ways in doing so.

This could have been funny if it had been written by someone else, who spends less than 73% of their time slating Schilling as Dan does. However seeing as Curt-bashing is listed as one of Dan's hobbies, it is basically just Frank Grimes-esque in nature.

Some of the fake entries Dan cooks up show another one of his pet-targets, the average Red Sox fan. Have a read of what Dan thinks of you, the Boston fan;

Lapdog38: Hey Curt. This blog is awesome. I mean, I can't believe it's really you. I'm nervous just typing, knowing you are there on the other end. Let me tell you a little about myself. I am 38 years old (pretty cool, huh, 38?) and I have your jersey in XXL (both home and away versions). I'm living at home, in the basement, rent free, and I've got cable and plasma TV. Domino's delivers. I guess you could say I'm living the dream.

Great, so Dan has us all pegged for overweight slobs who eat poorly and have a nervous disposition. If that isn't good enough, Dan actually questions the average Red Sox fans sanity in the next 'fake' entry;

Suckup38: Curt, you are the best. Thank you for this blog. It completes me. You had me at hello. I have blood stains on all my white socks. I was wondering if you would please consider going back to the negotiating table with the Red Sox during the season. If you leave Boston, I'll be forced to leave, myself.

My word that's hilarious. A joke about suicide in a faked entry on a Red Sox players blog. Dan really earned his pay check with that one. Finally, if that wasn't enough, Frank Grimes, I mean, Dan Shaughnessy, has one last good hard poke at what he describes as the 'sheep like' fans of Red Sox nation and Curt Schilling in the same fake posting;

CHB38: What do you say to those media morons who contend that you are a self-important blowhard with an ill-informed opinion about everything and an insatiable need to be worshipped by sheep-like fans and late-night blog boys who live in Ma's basement?

Maybe today is a good day to send Dan a little note telling him you love him. It looks like he needs a little love in his life. Right now he is just lashing out in all directions. Maybe remind him the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 and Curt Schilling was a huge part of that. Let him know that it's okay to actually enjoy the Red Sox this season without resorting to childish, immature rants against players who's educated, eloquent ability to speak maybe threatens him a little? Is that what it is Dan? Really? Ahhh...poor fella.

Previous 'Shaughnessy's enemy' posts

Dan Shaughnessy v Manny Ramirez part 1

2 comments:

The Omnipotent Q said...

CHB...what a tool.

There's a great website called "Dan Shaughnessy Watch," which tracks his Globe columns. I love their slogan: "We read him, so you don't have to."
http://danshaughnessy.blogspot.com.

Eklof 22 said...

Yeah I know of it, I didn't realise they were back in action, they had taken a bit of a hiatus. Great little site, very funny.

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