I have some questions
An open letter to Yankee fans

So how is this season working out for you guys so far? I have a few questions, things I thought about while watching last night's game. I'll jump right in!

Is the sky falling Jorge?

First of all, who was that fella your guys brought in to pitch the ninth? I couldn't tell, his number was hidden by the enormous fork sticking out of his back. Seriously though, what's it like watching your hall of fame closer being taken out in the 9th after basically throwing a can of gasoline on the fire? Very strange moment, I thought anyway. I respect Mariano, great pitcher and he has put up some unbelievable statistics. However, watching Joe Torre pat him on the back wistfully as he took him out, you have to wonder, is he done? Cooked? Finito?

Who's next so, Scott Proctor? I can hear Julio Lugo now, 'Oh no! Not Scott Proctor!!'

When you watch Matsuzaka pitch, do you think to yourself, 'He could have been ours, if George had paid enough.' Does that make you angry? Okay he wasn't completely lights out but he might still fit into that Yankee rotation eh? Slot him in there somewhere, although hey, Jeff Kaarstens, eh?

If Johnny Damon and nine random fans lined up to throw a ball as far as they could, where do you think Damon would rank, ninth or tenth?

With all those bloopers and bloppers in the bottom of the fourth you must have thought you were on to something huh? What is it now though, twice this season Matsuzaka has basically handed you a few runs and the Yanks couldn't hold the lead? How does that feel? Think he will walk three in a row next time he pitches to you guys?

What exactly is Mariano's era now? Have NASA figured it out yet?

If your first baseman and nine random fans took ten hacks each in a batting cage, where would his average be, ninth or tenth?

How's that bullpen working out for you? What's Mike Myers, the 'designated-come-in-give-up-a-hit-and-leave' guy? When the bullpen door swings open and you see Vizcaino come in, how does that feel? Fun?

Finally, just a quick one to finish. How's the view from the bottom of the AL East?


Amy said…
I giggled outloud as I read this. :) You summed it pretty well!! :) thansk for the chuckle!! and GO SOX!
Cormac said…
Thanks! It almost came back to bite me in the backside seeing as the Yankees came back to take game two, but thankfully the sports karma Gods didn't punish me too much and allowed Sundays win!

Normally don't like 'trash talking' as it were, but seriously, Friday night was just too surreal not to ask certain pertinent questions!