''You are part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor!''

Backing the Evil Empire (no, not that one)

My reputation as a football tipster took a serious knock with my (admittedly terrible) selection of Portugal to beat Germany in the European Championship quarter finals. Lorcan, Vegas, I can only say sorry, and offer the condolence of my attempts to talk you, Vegas, out of that awful Glavine v Florida bet a few weeks ago. Not much condolence, I know.

I am sorry.

Anyway, in times like these you have to follow your head, not your heart. This tangled mess brings me to tonight's European Championship semi final between the Turks and the Germans. The Turks have played with heart and style, however face a veritable mountain of personnel issues for tonight's clash
''Turkey face the prospect of having just 13 outfield players available for their Euro 2008 semi-clash. Keeper Volkan Demirel will miss out after his two-match ban was upheld for a red card against Czech Republic and Emre (hamstring) was also ruled out. Coach Terim said Tumer Metin might be able to play the last 30 minutes of the match despite suffering from a groin strain and he may also have to field third-choice keeper Tolgan Zengin because of the injury crisis.''
Instant alert! Instant alert! Turkey might end up using a goalkeeper as an outfield player tonight, in a European Championship semi final! First things first, this is a true shame, and UEFA should really allow more squad players in situations where teams are decimated like this. Maybe after the first round 2-3 more players should be allowed added where injuries are confirmed and squads reduced to goalkeepers and backups.

Secondly, how can you back Turkey tonight, in light of that information?

The heart says Turkey, the head says the efficient, grinding, boring Germans, possibly 2-0. They could grind one out early and grab another as Turkey pile forward in search of an equaliser.

Come over to the Dark Side...back Germany tonight against a wildly under strength Turkish side!

If, and it's a big if, if I was a gambling man, I would be putting my entire gambling stack on Germany, possibly even Germany -1.

A summary, and what better way to sum things up, when my Portugal pick was so bad, than to ask someone like the Swedish Chef to help out.

Chef, over to you;
''I theenk thet elthuoogh zee Toorkeesh teem hes pleyed veet mooch heert, zeeur injoory issooes und leck ooff sqooed dept veell be-a zeeur inefeeteble-a undueeng egeeenst zee ixpereeenced, iffffeecient Germun seede-a tuneeght. Um de hur de hur de hur.''

The Swedish Chef thinks Germany are a lock tonight



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