Imagine, on thanksgiving day...

So, imagine you are this particular guy.

Imagine you are a strong, beautiful, fast, proud, clever young man, called, for the sake of argument, Jacoby.

Imagine you have this beautiful new apartment, in a really nice location downtown. The apartment has everything you could need in it, and is really spacious too. It has great views, it's really clean and is actually one of those new fangled environmentally sound joints. It practically does all your recycling for you. It is ridiculously large, has a couple of spare bedrooms even and every morning you get up you thank whoever you believe in for this ridiculously perfect pad.

You fit the apartment perfectly and the apartment fits you. You almost have a tangible relationship with it. You have it done up really nice too. The place looks great.

You live peacefully and happily in this apartment for years.

Through a series of events you end up with a lodger. Someone staying in the smaller room of the big apartment. They are relatively unintrusive at first, you notice them come and go but in general they stick to their small room. One day you run into the guy downtown. He seems like a nice enough guy, bit different, but nice enough. The two of you sit down in a bar for a pint and talk over things. He tells you since he arrived in town nothing has gone right for him, he has been sick, he hates the weather, doesn't know what to eat and can't find a job. You offer to help. In fact, you go way above and beyond. Not only do you show the new lodger, Doug, we shall call him, all the good places in town, you get him a job, hook him up with a good pharmacy and basically help him adapt to his now environment. So much so that Doug's life improves exponentially.

As things improve for Doug he suggest the two of you go out an celebrate, as his way of thanking you. You go out to eat first, you can't help noticing not only do you end up arranging the meal you also end up paying for it. You go for a few drinks, and end up having a great time, so much so that from then on both you and Doug refer to it as 'that night'.

Time passes by, and as Doug settles in, your relationship gets stretched and starts to fray at the edges. Doug basically expands slowly across the apartment. He starts leaving his stuff in other rooms, and shouts back at you when you dare say anything. In a funny twist, once a year you still celebrate 'that night' together, by having a meal and a few drinks. On those few and far between nights you are able to co-exist peacefully, and you crack open beers together and eat without arguing, celebrating 'that night'.

The situation gets worse and worse though, so much so that's fights start to break out between the two of you. One day you come home and to your shock Doug has moved a friend in to one of the other spare rooms. Bob, the new guy, is even worse than Doug, and treats the apartment like it was his from day one. The two guys encroach heavily on your space and you can see the apartment changing before your own eyes. It starts to get dirty, the guys are terrible at cleaning up after themselves. They basically don't seem to give a damn about the apartment, something that totally shocks you.

The time of year comes around where you used to celebrate 'that night' with him, but now he closes the dining room door to keep you out and Doug and Bob have a huge, elaborate and rich meal without you, while watching football and boozing.

One night you get home, crack open a beer and sit back to watch something on TV. Doug and Bob walk in and change the channel, and push you out of your seat. Furious, you fight back, and punches are thrown. You hold your own, however the two big, dumb men manage to subdue you through weight of numbers. You go back to your room with a cut lip and broken nose. Last thing you remember about the night is Doug shouting at you 'You stick to your room from now on, you aren't allowed anywhere else in the apartment!'

Your apartment rights are ripped away from you. You can't use anything except what's in your room. It gets even worse. You come home one day and Bob is moving his stuff into your room. When you argue a fight breaks out again. You easily have the measure of him however Doug arrives and again you end up overpowered, bloodied, bruised yet still with your pride intact. Bob tells you he just prefers your room, and from now on you are to stay in a tiny, almost empty, useless little spare room.

This change in the apartment has a detrimental and speedy knock on effect.

You lose your job, your health deteriorates, you sometimes slip sadly into alcholism. Nobody around town respects you anymore, and absolutely no one cares about your plight.

The worst part is, once a year, Bob and Doug have people over to celebrate 'that night', leaving you in your little room. Your glory days where you and the apartment had a beautiful relationship are long gone and forgotten, replaced by a nagging, constant pain in your heart. Never once do you lose your pride or dignity, your two strongest features, however from now on you will always have a hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach, particularly that once a year.

Doesn't seem fair does it?

In the 1910, the total population of North American Indians was about 400,000, down from about 18 -19 million in 1492.
(David Stannard in his 'American Holocaust', 1992, pp. 74-75, p.151)

Happy Thanksgiving.



Brian said…
Nice punchline!
Cormac said…
Just the 5 'hate' mails on this one as yet!
Jolyn said…
Well said! Quite thought provoking.