Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Please, enough with the Joe Buck!

Muck, Joe Buck, muck..

Something that only really hit me fully while watching the higlights of the Eagles v Cards NFC Championship game. My question, is there really nobody, no one, not one warm bodied individual better than Joe Buck for major sports events commentary? Joe Buck is the pinnacle? Really?

All right, game. Be more interesting. Except for you, Joe Buck. You stay comatose. We don't want to have the slightest implication that you'd rather be playing FreeCell.

Everybody, every single Joe Punter, Billy Blue Collar on the street completely hates him, to the point of physical violence, he is an absolutely brutal commentator, and yet still he is the inane, boring voice we are forced to listen to game after game after game?

His painfully poor commentary on the NFC Championship game highlighted a new weapon in his arsenal of awfullness. It would seem, while listening to him, that, all in all, Joe Buck rather be nappin'. As the game grew slowly better and better, Buck remained on level -1. For example, here is a transcript of his call on one of the biggest plays in the NFL this season, the sensational 47 yard bomb to Kevin Curtis;

"Caught. Run. First dowzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...."

Then again, you might be quiet too if you were trying to crash study the names of any Cardinals players not named Warner, Fitzgerald or Boldin.

Even his grandiose, eulogistic statements fell flat on the night. "You are witnessing the revival of this franchise..." ...and yet, it sounds like you're in a mausoleum, Joe.

Of course he still managed to bring one of his staple commentary styles to the table, the ability to be frighteningly obvious. How about this little beauty; ''McNabb used his legs for a ten yard run''. Really, Joe? I thought he used two cans of Chunky Soup and some string. I am shocked Buck didn't tell us that McNabb 'Pumped his fist using his arm.' Slowly America grows dumber and dumber just listening to the (fraud) man.



Joe Buck's commentary brought to you be Xanax, Prozac, and Lithium.


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1 comment:

john said...

Best... Post... Ever...

Irish National baseball team

Irish National baseball team
Team Ireland at the European Championships, Croatia, 2000.

A nice little mention for this blog on Fox Sports

A nice little mention for this blog on Fox Sports

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