Monday, July 13, 2009

That’s bush! - How not to play the game of baseball

Notes on how not to play the game of baseball in the Irish baseball league. Alternate title ‘act like you have been here before’.

  • Do not fake bunt every time the opposition pitcher reaches 3-0 in the count. This is bush league. Players that do this show a complete lack of class and portray the fact that they do not know how to play the game of baseball.
  • Bat waving. This should be kept to a minimum. Waving your bat like Gary Sheffield on crack simply shows the opposition pitcher that you are afraid to be at the plate and are resorting to alternate tactics to hide said fear. Bat waving is bush league, unless you are Gary Sheffield. Most players in the Irish baseball league, with the possible exception of Mike Johnson and Andy Martin, are not Gary Sheffield. Don’t wave your bat.
  • Goading the opposition with taunts of “Where are the Hurricanes now??” in Spanish, does not work when members of the opposition speak Spanish and therefore understand what you are saying.
  • Taunting the opposition with “Where are the Hurricanes now??” does not work when the opposition has already handed it to you twice earlier in the year.
  • Taunting the opposition with “Where are the Hurricanes now??” does not work when you have just reached the .500 mark at 4-4. Generally, unless you have a winning record, you should avoid being a douche bag and taunting opponents in one of your few wins of the season. In short, a 4-4 record is not licence to start smack-talking. At any level. Particularly, however, on a field with no mound on a wet Saturday afternoon in Ireland. If your opponents are 7-1 and you are 4-4, it is generally ‘best practice’ to avoid smack talking.
  • If you feel, even with a pathetic 4-4 record, that your team needs to engage the opposition in smack talk, you should perhaps avoid doing it when they are missing five of their first team players. If you resort to smack talking when the opposition clearly is missing several key parts, you only end up looking like afore mentioned douche bag.
  • Finally, when you are struggling to get to .500, when you have never won anything in the Irish league (ever), when you are the under dog and when you are going to have to face your opponent again in a couple of weeks, it is really not a genius idea to talk smack, act like superstars and taunt the opponent. That kind of stuff tends to come back and haunt you.


You know what they say, act like you have been here before.



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1 comment:

tom said...

interesting post. As an Irish fan I've only ever really gotten to watch and never played a proper game. I wonder what level of deception would be considered nasty.
I was once told a cheap trick where the pitcher pretends to throw to first but hides the ball under his arm pit. The 1st basemen then pretends it was a wild throw, the runner goes to steal and is then thrown out by the pitcher.
How aggressive are things at the amateur level? Do pitchers throw brushbacks? And is it ok to call "Darrrrrrrr-yl" ala Daryl Strawberry in the Simpsons (adjusted to the batters name of course)

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