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It's all the rage. Everybody is doing it. Thierry Henry wants the Ireland v France handball contest, I mean, World Cup Qualifier, replayed. Yeah well, there's a bunch of games I want replayed too, Thierry.
"Naturally I feel embarrassed at the way that we won and feel extremely sorry for the Irish who definitely deserve to be in South Africa," said Henry. "Of course the fairest solution would be to replay the game but it is not in my control.''
The games I want replayed. I expect the French tourism industry, teachers union and, oh, I don't know, the French stamp collectors union, to get firmly behind me.
Game 1: Superbowl XLII
Tournament: NFL playoffs
Main protagonists: New England Patriots v New York Giants
Why it should be replayed: Well that's simple. Destiny against some guy who probably doesn't even play football anymore catching a bad pass off the side of his lid.
Potential outcome of replay: Patriots winning 14-10. Me not ending up drunk on a beach in Mexico after having been thrown out of a theatre for attacking some Dallas fans.
Chances of it ever being replayed: Actually not bad. Aren't about half the Giants doing time? The Patriots could argue that, well, they don't really have an argument but they could try the Peter Griffin tactic of spreading their arms wide and whining 'Commmme ooooooooooooon? eh? eh?'
Game 2: Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS
Tournament: MLB Playoffs
Main protagonists: The Boston Red Sox v The New York Yankees
Why it should be replayed: It should be replayed because of the Grady Little factor. Any other manager would have used his bullpen and the Sox might have won the World Series in '03.
Potential outcome of replay: Wait a second, maybe this isn't such a great idea. If the Sox won it all in '03, then they wouldn't have had the pleasure of humiliating the Yankees 4-3 after being 0-3 down in '04. Maybe we should take this one back?
Chances of it ever being replayed: Is Grady Little still even alive?
Game 3: Ireland 1 Spain 1 2002 World Cup
Tournament: The 2002 World Cup
Main protagonists: Ireland, Spain, Roy Keane etc..
Why it should be replayed: Ireland played the game without probably their best player, Roy Keane, who threw all his toys out of the pram and went home because, well, no one really knows or cares anymore. Poor Roy doesn't like spending too much time in the same situation. He gets bored easily, with his enormous brain. Bless.
Potential outcome of replay: Ireland win 2-1 in normal time and the greatest party Dublin has ever seen goes on for at least one more game. More than any other Irish team, that incarnation actually had a chance of making the World Cup Final. Sadly we may never ever get that close again.
Chances of it ever being replayed: Well, it was about a thousand years ago, so, probably slim enough.
Game: Sunderland 2 Manchester United 2
Tournament: The 2009/2010 English Premiership
Main protagonists: The glorious under dog heroes of Sunderland AFC v those fat cat bullies Manchester United PLC.
Why it should be replayed: Because United got their jammy equaliser about 79 minutes into injury time.
Potential outcome of replay: Sunderland win 2-1 and my brother and I make about a zillion euros on several Sunderland related bets.
Chances of it ever being replayed: Not bad at all. Sunderland need to prove that the ball hit off a United players ass, face, knee and elbow, and that the goal was scored after injury time had elapsed, and that aliens really do exist, and that Elvis is still alive. If they can do that, maybe!
Game: Uzbekistan v Bahrain
Tournament: 2006 World Cup qualifier
Main protagonists: Uzbekistan v Bahrain
Why it should be replayed: The referee made a "technical error" after a penalty had been awarded
Chances of it ever being replayed: Wait a second, this was replayed!!
Your move, Fifa.