Monday, November 23, 2009

The Sports Karma Gods wreak terrible retribution on NFL Sunday

The Sports Karma Gods can be a little lazy. You never really know what kind of mood you are going to get them in. Let’s face it, the French soccer team got away with about twenty seven various infractions over the course of their World Cup qualifier the last two weeks. The Sports Karma Gods must have had a bowling tournament going on, or something. Maybe they were assembling some flat pack.

Who knows.

Thing is, every now and then they are very much awake and absolutely paying attention. When they are in that state, woe betide any athlete or team that breaks the many, varied and complicate rules of Sports Karma.

Quick digression. The theory of Sports Karma is evolutionary in nature, it’s in it’s embryonic stages and still formulating a solidity. Every so often something new comes to light. Seeing as the Sports Karma Gods occasionally appear to take time off, maybe it’s less of a ‘thunder and lightning’ kind of thing, maybe it’s more of a Civil Service atmosphere up there? Maybe those in the Sports Karma department of whatever God is in charge is in fact full of Civil Servants? When they haven’t had their coffee or cigarette or red bull, they simply ignore the paperwork piling up on their desk. When they have had their bagel, Danish or whatever, they are slamming down a big stamp with capital red lettering screaming ‘RETRIBUTION REQUIRED’ on everything that passes their way.

The two cases below definitely got the red ‘retribution’ stamp.

In the Ravens/Colts game, one of the big fat Raven linemen put an absolutely disgraceful late hit on a Colts tight end. It was a cheap shot below even most cheap shots in terms of filth. Elbow right to the kidneys, coming after a 350lb body slam. Amazingly, thankfully the Colts TE wasn’t badly hurt. Actually, question for you, why aren’t players ejected for dirty hits in the NFL? Most sports, you do something like that, you are out of the game. Why is this allowed in the NFL?

Either way, the Sports Karma Gods were watching. One barely missed field goal later, off the boot of the Ravens kicker who was otherwise perfect, and the dirty Ravens season is to all intents and purposes over. The NFL playoffs will not miss the cheap-shot Ravens and their moronic leader, Ray Lewis, who should be in wrestling or something, he is nothing but smoke and mirrors. Watch him play. He leads the NFL in arriving late to get a half-credit for a tackle once someone else does the initial grunt work. Plus, he is getting kinda chubby, no?

The second case of Karmic retribution was absolutely beautiful in its simplicity. Those idiotic Steelers. They had Kansas where they wanted them. They were piling on the points and moving the ball with ease. Instead of just working hard, picking up the win and going home, Hines Ward and Heath Miller, amongst others, had to go and do something stupid. Both of them mocked the Kansas ‘Tomahawk Chop’ after they scored, making fun of Kansas and Arrowhead stadium in particular. Well, whoever was manning the desk at the Sports Karma department was paying full attention.

You can almost picture them taking a sip from their hot cup of Joe and raising their eyebrows, ‘Really, Pittsburgh? Really?’ SLAM – big stamp with glaring capital red writing comes crashing down on the paper work, retribution required!

Sure enough, Kansas caused one of the shocks of the day coming roaring back to beat the Steelers.

Do not mock the Arrowhead Tomahawk chop! Do not anger the Sports Karma Gods, they are often actually awake and paying attention!



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Irish National baseball team

Irish National baseball team
Team Ireland at the European Championships, Croatia, 2000.

A nice little mention for this blog on Fox Sports

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