Monday, June 21, 2010

I hate Brazil.

I can not wait to root against Brazil. Last night, next match, next round. Whatever. This is a major about turn for me. I used to love Brazil, and their ’02 tournament win was a thing of poignant, swashbuckling beauty. That Brazilian team was full of rogues and pirates like Ronaldo who had somewhat murky private lives and still produced football of sublime quality.

The current incarnation? Something of a schmaltzy, syrupy, tasteless mess.

Two major issues. Item 'A' on the agenda, Brazil may be the dirtiest team in World Football. Sneaky dirty. Watch them play, they are absolute hatchet men 30 yards from goal. Their own players freely admit it, too; As Felipe Melo puts it: "If I have to commit a foul, I will. If I have to get a yellow card, I will. It's better than conceding a goal."

What really makes the stomach churn is their ridiculous play acting. They dive, flop and roll around the floor better than any NBA player has ever done. Watching Lucio play is nothing short of sick inducing. He is a completely pathetic individual on the football field. A big, strong man, he falls down as if shot in the face by a crossbow any time a player even nudges him. He is a complete and utter disgrace, and is validated by weak FIFA referees who give him free kick after free kick following his acting displays. And that's just one player. The entire Brazilian squad is well versed in acting, or simulating, as FIFA call it.

Brazil of course are not a one dimensional side. They can come at you with a variety of artistic flops and dives, or they can ram religion down your throat like no other.

The celebrations after Brazil beat the USA in the Confederations cup final were like a particularly psychotic sect throwing a particularly scary party. Why oh why do Brazil think it is important, no, essential, to ram their religious beliefs down our throats? After every important tournament win, or even after individual goals, the current Brazilian squad seems to feel it essential to rip off their jersey to reveal a t-shirt with crayon writing a five year old would be embarrassed by featuring headlines such as ‘Jesus loves me!’ or ‘I score for Jesus!’ Okay I made the latter up but, the religious fervor that Brazil have been championing lately is nothing short of disgusting.

Before you say ‘each to their own’ – that’s the entire point, each is not being allowed their own here, instead Brazil are using a World stage to inappropriately and aggressively deliver their religious message. Ask yourself, if a team all removed their shirts to reveal pro-scientology messages scrawled on them, would you find that appetizing? How about if an African team triumphs and starts screaming verses from the Koran at bewildered members of the international sporting press?

I used to enjoy watching Kaka and Brazil play.

Now, I can not wait for that smug, patronising and arrogant grin to get wiped off their faces by a team of vagabond scoundrels at the World Cup. Please God, Allah, Buddha and the Force, let there be a Portland ‘Jailblazzers’ team of under dogs out there waiting to take Brazil down.

Sanctimonious, much?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Agreed! Joga Bonita is turning in its grave watching this group of bible humpers flop and simulate at every turn.

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