NFL picks: Week three: The revenge of the sardonic comments.

Last week we lamented that the only bad thing about opening a NFL picks season 11-4 is, the only way was down. Well, what kind of glib, sardonic comment can we make after going 12-4 in week two? The only assumed result in week three is really, really down? All self depreciation aside, you do have to assume a market correction is in order, right? Or, is it? Is This Column about to embark on a 2007 Patriots like odyssey, cruising through the regular season before crashing and burning Hindenburg style in the Superbowl.

Let's find out.

  • Last weeks totals against the spread - 12-4
  • Running total against the spread - 23-8
See foot of posting for week by week links to previous weeks

New England Patriots (2-0) at Buffalo Bills (2-0) +8.5
Straight into the action. Anyone know what the over for this one is? Have NASA finished calculating it as yet? The Patriots seem intent on bashing all offensive records around for a season, whilst the Bills appear to have decided, 'If we're going to blow, we are going to do so in an aesthetically pleasing manner'. That's harsh on the Bills. They have given us two dramatic wins already, however you have to bear in mind they were against a pretty disastrous looking Kansas outfit and a young, mistake ridden Oakland side. The Patriots meanwhile have taken care of Miami on their home turf, and blown past a pretty talented Chargers side too. One 2-0 looks stronger than the other.
The score: New England 41 Buffalo 27
The Pick: New England -8.5


Our best men, figuring out the Bills/Patriots over/under

San Francisco 49ers (1-1) at Cincinnati Bengals (1-1) -2.5
Doesn't it seem a little early to be handicapping The Bungles? This Column loves how The Bungles have given the keys to the car to a bunch of young guys, including rookie QB Andy Dalton, and their opening to the season has a whiff of friskiness about it. However, the 49ers have the defence to cause the rookie QB and his mates headaches and you have to think Frank Gore is going to get going sooner or later.
The score: San Francisco 24 Cincinnati 20
The Pick: San Francisco +2.5


We must assume The Bungles are into Mr Bungle

Miami Dolphins (0-2) at Cleveland Browns (1-1) -2.5
We believe. We believe Cleveland's QB Colt McCoy is already the more polished article than Chad Henne. We believe Cleveland were impressive last week and will play hard in front of their vociferous home fans. We believe this line is about 3-5 points too low.
The score: Miami 17 Cleveland 24
The Pick: Cleveland -2.5

Denver Broncos (1-1) at Tennessee Titans (1-1) -6.5
Think, at first glance, that this line is a little on the long side? Well, go check out Denver's injury issues. They are going into this one minus about ten of their starters. No exaggeration. This line will be closer to -8 just before kick off. The Titans get off to a good start and Chris Johnson breaks 100 as the closer
The score: Denver 17 Tennessee 30
The Pick: Tennessee -6.5

Detroit Lions (2-0) at Minnesota Vikings (0-2) +3.5
Time to get out of the boat on this one. Swim to shore. Go on without me. Take the gun, go without me! The last couple of seasons This Column has watched in admiration as the young Lions have grown into, well, young Lions with a stack of talent. We can not in good faith step away from our firm belief that this Lions team is destined for greatness. However, that -3.5 is scary. The Vikings must have this game or their season becomes a dress rehearsal for next year. Having said that, you can see the Lions gleefully battering nails into the coffin that is the career of McNabb and the season that is the Vikings 2011. People are sitting up and taking notice of the Lions, but, this could be their official coming our party.
The score: Detroit 28 Minnesota 24
The Pick: Detroit -3.5



The Real Thing. The Detroit Lions are...

Houston Texans (2-0) at New Orleans Saints (1-1) -3.5
There is only a field goal, at best, between these two side. The Saints bounced back nicely last week however it is Houston that is the more 'intact' side, even allowing for Arian Foster's absence. Ben Tate is doing a fine job in his place. The Saints are missing more personnel and Houston are getting used to winning. The feeling is the Saints will win, taking advantage of home cooking, however Houston can keep it close.
The score: Houston 27 New Orleans 30
The Pick: Houston +3.5

New York Giants (1-1) at Philadelphia Eagles (1-1) -7.5
Obviously noted dog killer Michael Vick (No, I will not ever give him a break, no, thanks) is a key factor, and you have to assume he will play. Even if he is involved, this line looks too lengthy to me. The Giants have not turned into a pumpkin overnight. If Vick does play, you can assume the fierce Giants pass rush will have a good pop at him. The Eagles, playing in their own backyard, should win, but it could be close. Closer than 7.5 points anyway.
The score: New York 24 Philadelphia 27
The Pick: New York Giants +7.5

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) at Carolina Panthers (0-2) -3.5
Goodness gracious Jacksonville were absolutely putrid against the Jets. That extra half point in the handicap is a little worrying but the Panthers can neutralize the Maurice Jones Drew threat by getting into an early lead. Rookie QB Cam Newton looks absolutely electric, which is no shock to anyone who watched him light it up in college. If Carolina get a decent lead, the Jaguars, who have serious QB issues, won't be able to keep up. Cam Newton gets career win numero uno.
The score: Jacksonville 17 Carolina 34
The Pick: (Oh) Carolina -3.5



Oh Carolina (Little inside, I know)

Kansas City Chiefs (0-2) at San Diego Chargers (1-1) -14.5
Nasty. Put the kids to bed. X-Rated. Kansas are a complete and utter cluster fudge of a mess. They are busy making the Keystone Cops look competent. Kansas is losing the 2011 season 89-10 at time of writing. Expect that to look even uglier once the dust has settled in San Diablo.
The score: Kansas 13 San Diego 40
The Pick: San Diego minus a million (Or -14.5, either)

New York Jets (2-0) at Oakland Raiders (1-1) +3.5
The Jets may have won easily last weekend, but they struggled at times in week one, and the Raiders are a very different proposition at home than on the road. Aren't we due a Mark Sanchez stinker? Oakland cause the shock of the week in front of their crazy fans.
The score: New York 16 Oakland 20
The Pick: Oakland +3.5



Baltimore Ravens (1-1) at St. Louis Rams (0-2) +3.5
Baltimore are the worlds greatest tease. Awesome in week one, awful in week two. The Rams need RB Stephen Jackson back, and This Column is assuming he will Cowboy Up and take the field. The Rams, at home, against what appear to be a very up and down Ravens side. Approach with caution however, hard to see the Rams doing much without Jackson.
The score: Baltimore 20 St Louis 23
The Pick: St Louis +3.5

Atlanta Falcons (1-1) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) -1.5
The Falcons win over the Eagles was considerably more impressive than the Buccs win over a hapless looking Vikings side. All due respect to Freeman and the young Buccos, The Falcons can stretch their winning streak to six in a row against Tampa with another victory here.
The score: Atlanta 27 Tampa 24
The Pick: Atlanta +1.5


Green Bay Packers (2-0) at Chicago Bears (1-1) +3.5
Are you aware the Packers D has allowed over 900 yards on the season so far? The Bears are a fine team at home, their home support simply doesn't allow a poor effort from them. They can keep this one close at least. Could be an entertaining one, considering how poorly the Green Bay D is playing, and how much better the Bears play at home.
The score: Green Bay 30 Chicago 32
The Pick: Chicago +3.5

Arizona Cardinals (1-1) at Seattle Seahawks (0-2) +3.5
Phew, stinker alert. Seattle look absolutely atrocious. They are struggling in all areas, unable to move the ball and failing to stop anyone else moving it on them. Kolb and Fitzgerald will prove too much to handle, as the Cardinals walk away with an easy one.
The score: Arizona 27 Seattle 17
The Pick: Arizona -3.5

Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) at Indianapolis Colts (0-2) +10.5
Absolutely hate this one. There is a world of a difference, however, between hosting Seattle and travelling to Indianapolis. Seattle do not have anyone of the caliber of Clarke, Collie or Freeney. The Colts can keep it close, playing at home in front of their piped crowd noise. As is tradition.
The score: Pittsburgh 26 Indianapolis 20
The Pick: Indianapolis +10.5

Washington Redskins (2-0) at Dallas Cowboys (1-1) -6.5
Gasp, what? Almost a touchdown head start for the surging Redskins? Against a Dallas side relatively rocked by that nasty old injury bug? Where do we sign up? What's the catch? There doesn't appear to be any. Washington announce themselves as a serious team in '11 with a shock road win, against a beaten up Dallas side.
The score: Washington 23 Dallas 20
The Pick: Washington +6.5



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