BOSTON IRISH: March 2011

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Ch, ch, ch, changes. Four alterations MLB should make

For those of us who love baseball, this is a wonderful time of the year. There are only a handful of Spring training games remaining, and most clubs are about to break camp and head home to play their openers. There is a marvelous sense of anticipation in the air. However, there is absolutely no doubt Major League Baseball has started to lag behind the NFL and the NBA in terms of popularity. Not just 'bums in seats' statistical popularity, it has lost a foothold in the zeitgeist too. The average Joe Punter on the street just doesn't care as much as days of old.

Some people approach change like Khloe Kardashian approaches a diet. With great trepidation. Change though, can often be good. Change, in the case of MLB, is essential.

The slow paced game our parents and grandparents loved is being outdated faster than Mel Gibson's career imploded. MLB has to change to keep up with today's fast paced, instant results based society.

Here's five ways they can go about that.

One
Police those jaywalking catchers. There is already a limit on the amount of times a manager or pitching coach can visit the mound during the game. Why are catchers like Jorge Posada allowed make three to four, sometimes more, visits with the pitcher in mid inning? This would be such a simple change to police. Give them two visits per inning, and that's that. Quick, easy, sensible change.

Two
Put the clamps on the batters. I have never understood why MLB tolerates some of the completely ridiculous behaviour of players in the batters box. There is simply no reason for this. Players should be allowed step out of the batters box once, and once only, in an at bat. Every time they step out after that should be called a strike. This would speed the game up dramatically. The players have so much time to prepare for an at bat, in the dugout, in the stairwell and then in the on-deck circle too. How on earth can they not be ready to swing the bat after all that? Get them back in the box!!

Nomar: Aka - the human rain delay

Three
Start using a video umpire. MLB turns over billions of dollars a year, yet they can't afford to have one extra umpire sitting high in the stands, watching the tape of the game and helping the field umpires with calls? The one call we saw take way too much time last season was controversial home run balls. Currently the 'blues' have to comically waddle into the stair well to review the tape, then waddle back out and give the decision. It would be dramatically faster if there was a further official sitting upstairs ready to watch the tape and make the call in a matter of seconds. There is no doubt also that video review is going to filter in for further calls down the road, implementing this addition now would plant the framework for that. Get it done.

Four
Toss those managers faster. Hey, it was fun while it lasted, but umpires and managers, it is no longer interesting to watch you argue, shouting, practically spitting in each others faces. A short, sensible discussion on an issue should be enough for any calls. Why do we have to sit through long, protracted arguements? Why do managers think we want to see that? Ego, much? Toss their crabby old butts immediately. Speed the game up.

Linkage

Comments
Comments welcome! Free and open debate and communication are some of the most enjoyable aspects of life. Please leave a comment, disagreements welcome! If you disagree, debate your case by all means. However, anything rude, spiteful or any cowardly anonymous personal attacks will be not be tolerated and will be deleted.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Meet the new Yankee rotation; same as the old Yankee rotation!!

And so the New York Yankees have announced their 2011 starting pitching rotation. For now anyway. We can only assume this is a temporary thing. Surely, surely the Yankees don't intend to go through the trade deadline with this as their starting five?

Let's have a quick peek.

1. CC Sabathia

2. A.J. Burnett

3. Phil Hughes

4. Ivan Nova

5. Bartolo Colon

Absolutely nothing bad to say about the Yankees big (and I mean big) 'ace'. CC Sabathia is a big man, with a big heart who does his best work on the big stage. A worthy ace in every sense of the word.

The problems of course start from there on.

Wait a second, is it April first? Someone check the calender. Are the Yankees really going into 2011 with the completely unpredictable, certified head-case that is A.J. Burnett? Does someone need to fax over a copy of AJ's stats from last season to the Yankee front office? Is 10-15 with a 5.26 ERA really the stuff of a number two? Is being unceremoniously removed from the rotation for the ALDS against the Twins what you want from your number two? Burnett was nothing short of a complete disaster in 2010. Why should we expect anything less in 2011?

Phil Hughes is a nice little pitcher, no doubt about that, he has good stuff, he has survived this far (He has not disappeared like to many other 'can't miss' Yankee prospects of the past) and he is a seemingly tough minded, focused pitcher. He is the anti-Burnett. Hughes now has a stack of pressure on his shoulders, in the three hole behind Burnett. The pressure is on him to be the stopper after any Burnett meltdown. Remember, there were fifteen of those least season.

Moving down the list, things get very, very curious. The Yankee fourth starter is Ivan Nova, he of the only 42 major league innings and one major league win. Those stats are correct. One Major League win. Ever. And he's the fourth starter. No, we're not making this up.

Now for the jackpot, the big pay off, the 'Bingo!'. The Yankees are actually seriously slotting into the five hole a man who hasn't pitched in the big leagues in 18 months. A man who will rival big CC in the weight department, and will no doubt be fighting CC to the top of the line at the after game spread in the clubhouse. You guessed it, Bartolo Colon, who may or may not be fifty seven years old at this stage, is the Yankees fifth starter.

Honestly, you could not make this stuff up if you tried.

Basically, get ready for some very high scoring games at Yankee stadium. Get ready for some New York scribe to splash out a good 'It's CC and pray for rain' headline, about two weeks into the season.

Most of all, get ready for the Yankees to do everything they can to land another big starting pitcher or two, because surely they can't be serious about this sad, sorry excuse for a top of the line rotation?

Surely, right?

Linkage

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy freakin' Saint Patrick's Day! - Ireland v USA - Round Four - Beer!

Ireland v USA - Round Four - Beer!

The vast majority of my readers are Irish-American and a question that often pops up over email is 'So what's it like living in Ireland?'. Well, I am here to serve you, and having spent time in both Ireland and the States I feel qualified to play the two off each other in a series of pieces on exactly where is it better to live, Ireland or the States.

Round four, beer - Let's chop it up.

According to Tripadvisor, these are the three top Beer destinations in the world!

Greatest Beer Destinations

Munich, Germany
Brussels, Belgium
Dublin, Ireland

That's right folks, third place, worldwide. Couple of points here that completely separate beer in Ireland to beer in the States. Basically, choice, quality and venue of consumption of. I'll come right out and say it before I even get into debating it, Ireland is light years ahead of the USA when it comes to beer.

Right off the bat, there's the unbelievably disparity of choice in beer. There's your bog-standard Irish beers, like Guinness, Beamish, Murphys, Harp and Smithwicks. Everyone loves those. Then there's the incredible selection of tasty European beers to pick from, unavailable in the States.

As for quality, well, matching up Irish beer and beer from the States is like the New England Patriots taking on a division three college team. That, ladies and gents, is a mismatch. Come on, someone has to be brave enough to say it, American beer is absolute pig-swill. It's all in the science. Did you know that in Europe there is an actual law preventing beer manufacturers from putting any chemicals whatsoever in their beers? I am not kidding. An actual law.

The fact that US companies have no such issues flooding their 'beers' with chemicals is why so many Americans suffer horrendous hangovers. Those nasty chemicals lead directly to horrific hangovers. It's simple science. Try four German beers against four American 'beers'. The morning after the German beers you would be slightly groggy. The morning after the American beers you would feel like Lindsay Lohan was having a loud tantrum in your head, actually inside your skull.

That's evil chemicals for you.

Finally, and this is something you will come to realise if/when you end up in Ireland at some stage in your existence, Irish bars rock. There is a great mix of old and new, particularly in places like Dublin and Galway too. Sure, sure, US bars are fine. Generally, I have no problem with them. I have even had fun in a few. The thing is, Irish bars posses a super atmosphere, something you just can't replicate elsewhere.

You might be sipping a 2% Coors Lite and shaking your head muttering 'USA! USA! USA!' - but once you have tried Irish beer and bars, you'll reluctantly agree.

This is a total mismatch.

Running scoreline; Ireland 3 USA 1

Previous head-to-heads

Here's hoping your day is as good as Shane McGowan's!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Signs you shouldn't be gambling

Hey, we all love a wager. Particularly Kevin in the TV show the US Office. He would, given the opportunity, bet on a snail crossing the road. Funny guy. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of having five euros or dollars or whatever on Devin Hester to score the opening touchdown of the Superbowl against the Colts, at 10/1. There’s nothing quite like having even that one hard earned euro or dollar on the Boston Red Sox to win the 2004 ALCS when 0-3 down, at 100/1. There is nothing at all quite like backing the great Zu Zu Zidane to score two or more goals in the World Cup final, and for the majestic French artist to realise your dreams for you with two crackers. Sports betting can be enjoyable and a thrill. Of course, if you are reading this in the States, your movements are restricted on this front. You can buy a semi automatic weapon, but you can't place a considered adult wager on a sporting event. Kind of a head scratcher, no?

Maybe, as a resourceful individual, you have figured out a way around this. Either you live in Nevada or you know a guy who knows a guy called 'Vegas Bob' who can get this kind of thing done. This is all well and good, however, there are just some people that should never gamble. Call them unlucky, call them whatever, they should simply never bet. On anything. Ever.

As always, we are here to help. How can you tell if you are one of these individuals? Simple. If you sound like any of these people, then put that docket down, and step out of the bookmakers.

Indication one:

You are Wayne Rooney.
If you think you are Wayne Rooney, you should not be gambling. Rooney's gambling 'exploits' are the stuff of legend, for all the wrong reasons. So very wrong. When Rooney first started getting paid massive figures on a weekly basis as a cherubic young lad at Everton, he embarked on a horrible, losing gambling spree. His losses were so bad that one bookmaker eventually wrote to him and asked him to stop placing wagers with them. Think about that for a second. The bookie banned him, not for winning, but for losing too much. If you think you are Wayne Rooney, stop gambling!

Indicator two:

You bet on virtual racing.
Can you believe people actually do this? This is the single dumbest venture since Napoleon thought to himself, 'You know what, I kinda fancy a trip to Russia this winter' Amazingly, as the late great Richard Pryor would say, people are all into that ****! Walk into any Irish bookie any time of the day and there’s guaranteed to be three or four guys staring blankly at the screen, watching computer animated horses sprint around a computer animated track. If you bet on virtual racing, you should not be gambling at all.

Indicator three:

You have ever placed a bet on Alge Crumpler
Occasionally, people like to pick out a player to score the first touchdown of any given NFL game. Take for example the Jets/Patriots playoff game not so long ago. If you are prone to the odd wager, and someone said to you, ‘who do you think might score first in this game?’ you might have replied, ‘Possibly Wes Welker, Ladanian Tomlinson or maybe Ben Jarvus Green Elllis’. All decent suggestions. One hardy soul in the UK decided to place his hard earned cash money on none other than Patriots Tight End Alge Crumpler. Blocking, Tight End, Alge Crumpler. The fact that this person was a producer on the UK Sky Sports NFL show, meant we all got to share his pain. If you recall, Crumpler dropped a sure touchdown pass early in the game. Clunk. The presenters, Nick Halling and Kevin Cadle, found out quickly, and let the rest of the world know. ‘The Guy’, as we’ll call him, got 50/1. Of course he got this for a reason. Crumpler, at this stage of his noble career, has hands like big clumsy rocks. The whole incident led to the brilliant Cadle moment of all moments, as they cruelly replayed the incident over and over, and Cadle chanted, ‘Watch the money, watch the money, watch the money drop….now!’. Cruel but hilarious. Bottom line? If you ever place a wager on Alge Crumpler to catch a touchdown pass, you should not be gambling.

Indicator four:

You are one of the individuals who backed England ‘in running’ at 1.01 to beat Ireland
Unless you were hiding under a rock all week, or more stoned than James Franco, you will know Ireland stunned the cricket world by defeating England in the ongoing Cricket World Cup. Some are saying it is the greatest upset in the sport. Ever. Meanwhile, Betfair, the online bookmaker which pits punter against punter, reported that over £2.5 million was placed in total on England when they were winning, and their odds were the minimum available, 1.01. So, for example, if you put £1 on them at those odds, and they won, you would receive £1.01. I guess every little counts, but, c’mon, man! If you are reading this and you happen to have been one of those backing England at 1.01, then you need to reassess things a little. For a start, quit gambling.

Indicator five:

You have placed a wager on the Washington Generals
Finally, as always leaving the best to last, if you have ever, ever backed the Washington Generals basketball team to win a game, well, you know the rest. The Generals are the proud owners of a 6-13,000 win/loss record. That’s not a mistake.

They spent decades as the foil to the Harlem Globetrotters exhibition team. Well, you could argue that their six wins to date shows they can actually win, and you would have to assume their odds are pretty decent, but, seriously, what’s the point? Ask yourself, have you ever backed the Washington Generals? If the answer is yes, then you Sir or Madam, you should never, ever be gambling. Ever!

Linkage

Monday, March 07, 2011

The tears of the clowns

What a weekend of sporting action. So many great games and dramatic results. As is often the case though, the highlights, for many, were low lights for some. For the latter, it all quite literally ended in tears.

Millions of Manchester United fans in the Far East and thousands in Manchester were celebrating gritty Sunderland’s 0-0 draw with Arsenal on Saturday, and then crying into their chicken fried rice on Sunday as Liverpool absolutely punched United in the face to the tune of 3-1. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat continued to be the most enjoyable, universally hated basketball team ever. They make the Pistons of yesteryear look cherished and loved.

Yesterday the feisty Bulls outlasted Miami 87-86, sending the Heat into the locker room, well, there’s no other way to put this than, crying. After the game, completely over-matched Heat coach Erik Spoelstra made the colossal mistake of telling the media that; ‘’there are a couple of guys crying in the locker room right now.’’ The baby faced Spoelstra may as well start engraving that sentence on his Heat tombstone, a laughably pathetic epitaph to a coaching job doomed from the start.

The Miami Heat weren’t the only weekend-that-was cry babies.

On Sunday, Manchester United were wiped off the field by a rejuvenated Liverpool. Nani, United’s ‘Ronaldo lite’ was the victim of an admittedly bad tackle by Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher. The normal, humane reaction would of course be to feel sorry for the injured player, however how is that possible in Nani’s case? He is literally impossible to like, and he only has himself to blame. As he sat on the ground post-tackle, barking angrily like an aggrieved chi-Wawa, a Liverpool player placed his hand on his shoulder. Nani recoiled backwards, jackknifing as if he had just been hit at point blank range by a particularly ferocious Devin McCourty tackle. As his back hit the turf, what area of his body did he grab? Well, his face, naturally. We all know the natural reaction to a grievous shoulder injury inflicted by a soft touch to said area exposes itself via severe facial pain, right?!

Think I am exaggerating his pathetic flop? Make your own mind up right here.

Nani is a Grade A, Class Triple-A, A plus level plonker, a complete and utter moron who spends most of his match-time experience writhing around on the ground in feigned agony, clutching his ankle and waving an imaginary card at the referee, trying to get honest fellow professionals booked. He is the poster child for what FIFA lazily labels ‘simulation’. FIFA talks about Faking, diving or ‘simulation’, as they like to call it, like the US military talks about UFOs. They kind of admit they exist, but, not really. Because of FIFA’s complete ignorance to the disease that is faking, players like Nani are enabled.

Perhaps worse than all his ludicrous diving, flopping and feigning, he is also only half a player. Nani wouldn’t know a tackle if it came up to him, introduced itself cordially and invited him out for high tea and crumpets. His completely horrendous defensive header on Sunday led directly to a Liverpool goal. In terms of football, Nani exists only in half the field, he only plays half the game.

Life as we all know has a delicious sense of irony, and this is just a case in point to that. The one time Nani might actually have been badly injured by a tackle, the one time he is possibly worthy of our sympathy, he goes and ruins it with yet another pathetic, cheating and lying flop. Nani, you are what you are, and you have cried Wolf once too often.

Get well soon.

Linkage

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Shrapnel. Version 1.00001 - Random vaguely sporting related thoughts

Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like BYU beating the Lakers.

How's the Notre Dame 'Code of conduct' evolving? Are they still working on that maybe? Will it be as strict as the BYU one? If so, will they have any students?

Am I the only one who thinks Kendrick Perkins was a little over rated, particularly offensively? Whilst undoubtedly a great team player, and by all accounts a smashing guy, he looked like Phillip Seymor Hoffman in 'Along came Polly' when shooting the rock. On offence, in general, he looked about as comfortable as a bunch of BYU honour students at a 70's Playboy Mansion orgy.

Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like a high school football team beating the Bills. Wait, scratch that, Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like a high school football team beating the Jets.

Arsenal looked pretty good last night beating Leyton Orient 5-0. Barcelona looked pretty bad by their standards beating Valencia 1-0. Massive Champions League second leg game coming up for them, would you be wildly shocked if Arsenal won at the Nou Camp? Having watched Barcelona every single weekend for four years running now, this is the worst I have seen them play during that stretch. Arsenal can actually win in Spain. Just remember, you heard it here first.

Chad Ochocinco is the single most entertaining 'Twit'. Discuss. (And by Twit I mean person who communicates using Twitter)

Quick, over under for Adrian Gonzalez long balls this season? 42? 42 seems right, no? or 42.5 in bookmaker speak. With the incredible protection around him (Youk, Papi, Crawford etc..) Gonzo will get his fair share of meaty fastballs. Wait, maybe 42 is kind of low?

Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like a high school hockey team beating the Bruins.

Can you smoke crack in BYU? I don't specifically see it on their inane code of conduct. If it doesn't specifically say it, can you do it? I mean, in BYU is it okay for guys to dress in women’s clothing, whip each other with cheese strings while singing Lady Ga Ga songs and watching Swedish art house movies? It's not forbidden in the code of conduct.

If you are a Patriots fan, are you ready for everyone to hate you and the Patriots with renewed vitriol? If not, you better get ready, because when the penny drops and the average Joe Punter NFL fan realises the Patriots have six, count 'em, six picks in the first three rounds of the NFL draft, there's going to be hell to pay.

So speaking of football, it kind of looks like we will have an NFL season next year, right? I mean, judging by the language coming out of both camps, players and owners, it appears to be about 70% definitely going to happen, right? We are pretty stuck for an alternative. Lingerie League Football, maybe? Oh, oh, is there Lingerie Football in BYU?

You know, the single most annoying, asinine aspect of that whole ridiculous BYU code of conduct or charter of chimps or whatever you want to call it, is the section demanding 'chaste' behaviour. Chaste behaviour? What is this, Victorian England? Is kissing allowed? It is? Great. How about an 'Old Fashioned'? A 'Cincinnati bow tie'? How about an 'Angry Pirate'? That out of the question? Give me a break. You know what BYU needs, Rodney freakin Dangerfield running around causing chaos, drinking beer and streaking through the campus naked late at night. Can we organise this?

I feel like I am missing something. How do some NBA teams think having one or two stars and the rest of the roster full of scrubs is an efficient, sensible way to build a team? Surely it is obvious to all that it is better to build an actual team of decent, harmonious parts like the Magic, Spurs and or Celtics, as opposed to a couple of expensive, mercenary like 'superstars' like the Knicks and Heat. To me, the Knicks looked like a real ball club pre Carmello. If Carmello and Stoudamire hit the bench, or get injured, at all, how do the Knicks win? Again, I feel like I am really missing something on this one.

Quick! Don't think, just speak. Top five biggest clowns in professional sports right now. Go. I've got (1 through 5) Kobe, A-Roid (Sic), Ronaldo, Le Bron and Rex Ryan. What about you?

Imagine how long Matt Leinart would have lasted at BYU. Seven, eight seconds on Campus, followed by a quick expulsion?

Right, I have got one for you. What would BYU have done with Tim Tebow? Sure, straight up guy and all, but have you seen how many topless shots of Tebow are on the internet? I mean, we are talking more than Jenna Jameson here. Now, those pecs do not promote chaste behaviour, so Tebow would have been in direct conflict with the Charter of Chimpanzees, or honour code or whatever they call it. Immediate expulsion for over-sexiness?

Right so. This was like Lindsay Lohan's career. A total disaster.

Let's do it again next week.

Linkage

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Four to watch: –NL East

With the MLB season approaching faster than Jacoby Ellsbury stealing second, let’s look at some of the impact players from around the league, division by division. Players primed to have big years, or players who have enormous, Vince Wilfork sized question marks hanging over their heads. Starting with the NL East.

Florida Marlins
Javier Vasquez
If ever a pitcher was going to benefit from a move from the hitter friendly AL to the pitcher friendly NL, its Javier Vasquez. You could say he is the poster child for the theory that the NL is basically Quadruple-A in terms of batting lineups. Vasquez sports a career 4.65 earned run average. You can probably guess where we are going with this. His ERA in the NL? 4.05. That may not be an astounding figure, but projected over the course of a season, that’s a lot of runs in the difference. Vasquez instantly gives the Marlins a top of the rotation horse who will eat innings and gobble up wins. A very under-the-radar but potentially rewarding pickup for the Marlins.

NY Mets
Francisco Rodriguez
The Mets took an interesting and progressive step forward with a drastic change in upper management in the offseason, it will be interesting to see how things play out under new rule. Closer Francisco Rodriguez, aka K-Rod, will be a good test patient. K-Rod is currently undergoing anger management treatment after attacking his girlfriend’s father last season. No, seriously. True or not, the old regime was perceived to go soft on unruly player behaviour. K-Rod has been held out of any game action, and in fact hasn’t even thrown a warm-up pitch. It will be interesting to see how the Mets handle this situation in the early days. Who will close in spring training? Will K-Rod be ready come season start? Is Jack Nicholson involved in any shape or form in his anger management sessions?

Philadelphia Phillies
Cliff Lee
If you are playing fantasy baseball this season, and you are lucky enough to land the first pick in your league’s draft, you have to at least consider Cliff Lee as your top pick, right? Lee has a chance to do something special statistically in ’11, finding himself in the National League, pitching to pitchers and the kind of lower order hitters you just don’t find in the meatier-by-necessity American League lineups. Is it really any shock Lee chose the NL over the AL? With notable exceptions such as the Phillies, Marlins and Reds, the NL is basically Quadruple-A in terms of batting order strength. The lineups simply aren’t as deep as their AL counterparts. How many NL pitchers, when up at the plate, are going to even put the ball in play against Lee? 23/24 wins, 300 strikeouts and a CY Young are all potentially in play for Lee.

Atlanta Braves
Fredi Gonzalez
We’re cheating a little here, Gonzalez is the Braves new manager for ’11, the first person other than Bobby Cox to manage Atlanta in fourteen long years. Gonzalez was sacked by Florida only last season, and you have to wonder, how will Atlanta fans react to a poor start to the season by the Braves? Gonzalez, if you recall, was brutally called out by Marlins starlet Hanley Ramirez, a disastrous back-and-forth that no doubt led somewhat to Gonzalez’s eventual firing. If he couldn’t handle Hanley, how is he going to handle the veteran egos of the Braves locker room? You can bet there are plenty of casual fans who will tune into the first Braves game of the new season and ask, ‘Fredi who?’ It’s a basic but important question, is Fredi Gonzalez ‘big’ enough to run the Atlanta Braves?

Linkage