Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Wrestling fans react in horror at news WWE fights are scripted in advance

Wrestling fans all over the United States are reacting in horror at the news that their sport is scripted in advance.


Wrestling: scripting shock

News has broken of a shady Reddit user successfully predicting WWE matches in advance of their start. Wrestling is reeling with the news that on r/SquaredCircle, Reddit's pro wrestling forum, one poster called Dolphins1925 has gone 38 for 38 predicting the outcome of WWE matches, or games, or fights, or whatever they are called. For the recent WrestleMania event, he was 100 % accurate. In addition to the eight matches that aired, Dolphins1925 correctly predicted a dark match that was held before the show, and one that was scheduled but bumped until the following night's Raw.



Dolphin1925 has since come forth and admitted he works in the WWE offices and is in fact a leak. The Edward Snowden of the WWE World if you will.

The news has thrown wrestling fans into a frenzied confusion. The problem doesn’t appear to be that there is ‘a leak’ in the WWE house, the confusion seems to be arising from the fact that WWE is scripted in the first place.

We presented the evidence to a few WWE fans in Birmingham, Alabama.

Dwayne Diggums the third

‘’Wait one second, wait, back up a second, wait, wait, you are saying WWE aint real?’’


Dwayne Diggums the third
Parker Chestnut Junior

You know, nothing is sacred. First they put a Muslim in the White House, and now this, and what next, you gonna (sic) tell me that Nascars only turn left?


Parker Chestnut Junior
Chase Johnson Jackson the second



''I just feel robbed, you know what I'm sayin', robbed, I was a loyal fan and now dey (sic) telling me there ain't no reality? You know what, I knew something was fishy with a few of those fights though, just like I know that Obama was born in Kenya and is a Muslim!''


Chase Johnson Jackson the second
No word as yet what the impact on the WWE fanbase will be as they struggle to figure this one out, however we are hearing there is mass confusion among same as to what a 'Reddit' is, and where they can find one.

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