John Wick 2: Marvel As Keanu Reeves Kills Lots Of People!

John Wick 2 has received much praise across the movie community, including a high aggregate score on IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes too. It’s being called all sorts of nice things, and, great, that’s lovely.

Man kills many other men - but LOOK AT THOSE SUITS!!!

I had a chance to catch it last night, and, I am still pretty much in a daze.

Let me summarize John Wick 2 for you.

A handsome assassin wanders through various stages of something akin to a video game, sometimes in New York, sometimes in Rome, shooting dead bearded hench-men types, and almost always, without fail, utilizing a gruesome kill shot to the head. In 60-70% of his execution style killings you can see the blood spray outwards from the bullet impact. In fairness, the titular character does introduce a little variety, using car doors, knives and a pencil to kill those same, mostly bearded, hench-men types when a gun isn’t readily available.

Essentially, it’s 2 hours of Keanu Reeves killing people.

There’s also a cute dog, and lots of loud noises and music, and there are many lovely looking Italian suits.

That’s. It.

You can dress a dog up any way you want to, but, at the end of the day, it’s still a dog. Wick has some fantastic scenery, those beautiful Italian suits and an exciting, gritty soundtrack, but when all is said and done the movie is literally 2 hours of Keanu Reeves killing people,

Maybe that’s something that interests you. There was a guy sitting a few seats to my left who was certainly into it. He was about 400lbs and had purchased pretty much all of the food available. In between massive gulps of popcorn, he would guffaw loudly at the more ridiculous on-screen deaths. Particularly the one with the pencil, he loved that one. Almost choked laughing at that one.

So maybe you’re like that guy and you find head-shot, execution style death funny. Cool, maybe that explains the high scores this movie is getting.

Or, maybe it’s just the fancy Italian suits.

I just don’t know anymore.

''Have you seen my beautiful Italian cut suits?''