Breaking news: Alfonso Soriano traded to New York in return for a 6 x 4 of Kate Upton in a Yankees cap


Yankees manage to trade for prized slugger in return for a glossy picture of the New York fan, Kate Upton. 


The Kate Upton picture sent by the Yankees to the Cubs in return for Soriano

The New York Yankees and the Chicago Cubs have agreed on a trade where slugger Alfonso Soriano is heading to the team from The Big Apple while in return the team from The Windy City is receiving a framed 6x4 picture of model Kate Upton, wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap.

The picture of Upton is just the feature part of the deal. The Yankees will also receive Soriano, $17 million towards his $24 million 2014 salary and a lower-tier pitching prospect from the Cubs. Chicago will receive the glossy picture of Ms Upton, a $50 voucher for Bubba Gump’s Shrimp House in Time Square, two upper deck, restricted view tickets to a Yankees v Astros game on a Tuesday night next season and a day pass to the New York Museum of Mathematics.

MLB experts are suggesting the Cubs have come out slightly better in the trade, despite Soriano’s 17 HRs and 52 RBIs in 2013 thus far.

Chicago Cubs general manager Theo Epstein said; ‘’I just feel like we’ve got the best we could out of this deal with the Yankees. Have you seen the picture? It’s really nice, and they even laminated it for us, which I thought was pretty classy.’’

Some Cubs fans were a little upset that Chicago didn’t get more for the trade. Joe Punter, a Chicago resident, said ‘’I just feel like we coulda pressed the Yankees for a bit more, like maybe a picture of her in her bikini? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great pic, I’m just saying.’


Could the Cubs have got more from the deal?

Of course some clubs are exasperated at what they perceive to be the New York Yankees continued ability to collect quality players off of other teams in return for scrap, or, in this case, a picture of Kate Upton in a baseball cap. The Boston Redsox GM Ben Cherrington has come out strongly against the trade, suggesting that the Cubs should have held out for more.

Cherrington said ‘’This situation is absolutely ridiculous, a Major League slugger with those kind of impact stats traded for a picture of Kate Upton? The league obviously doesn’t care that the Yankees basically get what they want for nothing. You can’t tell me that Theo (Epstein) shouldn’t have held out for a signed bikini, or something creative, like a date with Kate, or something?’’

Reached for comment, MLB commissioner Bud Selig would only say; ‘’I just don’t think we need to look into this, I mean, have you seen the picture?’’




Alfonso Soriano or something, whatever.

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