Sunday, October 14, 2007

Throwing traffic cones incomplete

Is there anything more annoying than those stupid, frustrating 'Sports impotence' dreams? I don't know if you have ever experienced them but they are a d-r-a-g. A real buzz killer. You wake up thinking 'Oh man.' Not like that though, like, a full drawn out 'Ohhh maaaan, am I really that bad at whatever sporting activity I was dreaming about? Really?' It's deflating.

What happens is, you are having a dream and you are playing a sport you like, say, for example, basketball. Maybe you are amongst friends, having a good time, ready to shoot a few hoops. This is never easy in a 'Sports impotence' dream. Every shot you put up is a brick. Or worse still, the ball turns into a 42'' LCD TV screen or something, and that's pretty hard to shoot threes with.

So anyway last night I had a 'sports impotence dream'. I like throwing the old pigskin around on occasion. In my dream I was working out with a new team who expected great things of me. It's dark, I think I have a Raiders jersey on (what?! huh?!) and it's also raining. You can tell this isn't going to end well.

The teams lineup and I am in shotgun, waiting for the snap. I think to myself, 'Man I hope this goes well.' The centre snaps the ball and suddenly I am holding a traffic cone in my hand.

I throw it. It doesn't go too far.

I stand there embarrassed as I miss the receiver by about twenty yards. 'Sports impotence' dreams are zero fun whatsoever.

I wonder, is Eric Gagne having them in bunches right now?

''Back in 82', I used to be able to throw a pig skin a quarter mile''


1 comment:

Fergal McGuigan said...

What pains me so much about this guys 'performances' for the BoSox this season, is that I had such huge expectations for him when he signed. I fully expect him to be on the other side of the country come spring training.

Irish National baseball team

Irish National baseball team
Team Ireland at the European Championships, Croatia, 2000.

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